Late night post. Sorry its so late, hectic day i suppose. I wake up to a text from my sister this morning asking if i could possibly pick up her daughter , since she was running late for work. I obviously hesitated because the night before she stated she would bring her over to my house. She insisted, i got ready then off rowan and i go. Rowan love car rides, he likes sticking his head out the window like every other dog on earth. When i got there my niece of two years was still sleeping. I felt like a jerk when i woke her up. My sister didn't tell me she was not ready, yay. So i got my niece ready, packed her diaper bag , and i had to hurry cause rowan was still in the car. So off we go again! This was around 7:45-8-ish in the morning, a dog and a two year old with me, good way to start the morning right? When we finally arrived back to my place again, i already wanted to go back to sleep, my niece was wide awake. So i put lilo and stitch the movie on Netflix, she automatically says she doesn't want it. Today was not her day and it wasn't mine either. Long story short, she stressed me out. Today reminds me why i shouldn't have kids of my own yet. You see, my house is not kid friendly. So my niece love to touch things that are not for kids. For example, everything i have in my house! We were all toddlers before so we understand that everything is mostly new to us and we need to touch it. I just don't want her breaking anything. Does that make me crazy? Probably. I finally gave her a bath, i had to cut it short since she was not listening to me, and shortly the bath, i find that we have a squirrel in our tree. So i decide to take pictures of the squirrel to show david tonight, and i turn around and i see that my niece has the lead pencil that i let her use to draw. She stabbed my poor rowan with the lead pencil. My poor rowan didnt do anything but immediately took the pencil away and hell broke loose. Rowan is fine by the way, if anyone was curious. I finally walked her to my bedroom and sat her down on my bed, she was in time out. Finally her mother, my sister picked her up with her boyfriend. My sister and i don't really get along for many reasons. Her boyfriend doesn't think before he speaks. I felt like i was disrespected because my sister automatically volunteered me to take care of her child, and i jokingly stated that they can buy me food. Her boyfriend states that he cooks very well and can get me food. But in a way that he insinuated that i cant buy my own food. I stated that i have food , I'm just trying to finish before i got to the store. He opened my cabinets, like don't open my cabinets man. I held back my opinion, but i was very insulted. My sister expects me to take care of her child and i understand that I'm the aunt, but just because I'm not working doesn't mean I'm not doing anything. I keep busy. Its just some places i cant go again because it reminds me of david and i cry. One of my worst fears is losing the love of my life, but when my sisters boyfriend acts like he's better than david , insinuating that david isn't doing anything in Afghanistan, that makes me upset. David is helping our country the same way soldiers help. David used to be in the military, and this is his second tour but non military, Aka defense contractor. Final thing is , don't disrespect my family, especially in my house. Once they finally left, i called my mother crying, i was so upset. Thank god for mothers, I had no one else to turn to. Im blessed to have a mother. She advised me to text my sister and tell her how i feel, my sister overreacted and said mean things. Now my sister and i are not talking again. She brought up the "me not working" subject, saying I'm not independent. Well i am. I do my own thing. I just stopped working. A few days ago. Wow I'm not independent. But its okay because I'm keeping busy, enjoying my free time and keeping positive for david. My sister wont understand because she has never had someone deploy out to Afghanistan. Im very sensitive at the moment because of the whole change, ill get through it. Sometimes its good to break down and cry. It normal, i know it is. Just taking this deployment day by day. Gotta stay strong! On the other note, i watched a movie and managed to talk to david. I explained what happened today and david thought I'm stressed out. But I'm not, I'm emotional because i broke down. I explained that i am keeping busy. Because its the truth, today just sucked to be honest. But I'm still thankful. I will stand up for what i believe, especially for what david is doing. I do apologize for my huge rant you guys.. I just needed to vent. Now I'm off to bed! Lets see what tomorrow brings. Goodnight.

Late night post. Sorry…

by zellie


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