I haven't understood what made my brother come to my room. I started thinking - whether my over-attentiveness in the college, or my after-college hangouts with my friends made him angry, or what thing I did that made him come to my room!
"But why did he lock my room???" - I thought!
Have I done something wrong?
Or is he going to do something wrong?
The first question didn't matter to me as I was regular in everything, from college to coming home before 7 pm & I haven't crossed limits in my life!
The second question mattered a lot to me as I got to know from his female friends that he used to beat them in front of other friends without any reason and that he used to sexually assault them when he came to meet them at their home!! I was horrified while remembering the second question!! I was shivering while thinking what will happen to me if he does that!!
He came to my room & closed the door. He started narrating his college days and told me funny stories of his college time! I laughed hysterically, and he also laughed too.
"You are too much funny." I said.
What he said in reply shook my entire body. "I am also a great partner in bed!" - he said.
He touches me, beginning with pushing my hair strands behind my ear & taking inspection of my entire face. I start crying, and he starts laughing, indicating to me as if he has done his experiment on me!
"Don't take tension, it will not harm you. Look, I have brought protection." He said to me, showing me a packet of condoms he had in his wallet.
My tears had dried, but my face had a horrified look. He had the carefree look in his face, and was just smiling!
He held me by my arms, and started kissing my cheeks. I kept quiet.
He kissed my ears, I kept quiet.
He kissed my lips, I kept quiet.
When he was going to open my lips to explore my tongue, I pushed him back.
He opened my lips to explore my tongue.
I, unfortunately, closed my eyes, starting to imagine what is going to happen with me....
We kissed for a long time...
Actually, he kissed, not me... I was just a puppet, dancing on his tunes..!!
I lost hope, my soul, my virginity...
Hope - that my parents will come quickly
Soul - because this horror emptied me from inside
Virginity - to my brother
But today, the thing going on is entirely different. I hadn't kissed my brother till date thinking what his girlfriend will say if he told her.
He stopped for a minute, then removed his T-shirt, exposing his muscular body to me. Again, started kissing me on my lips. Then, he shifted his kissing to my neck, my ears, my cheeks and again my neck. This time, my tears flowed but I didn't shout - my soul didn't allow me to cry loudly.
He removed my tears and along with them, my T-shirt, exposing my body to him. He didn't have any expression on seeing my body, just continued to kiss me.
I said in my mind, "Oh God, please kill me right now!! I don't want to spend the entire night having sex with this monster!"
He made me lie down, came up on me & started kissing me again. Now, he got down & started kissing my breasts after unhooking my bra! I felt powerless & just kept looking at the fan in my room.
I felt sensations in my body each time he kissed my breasts. He went further down & kissed my stomach. I closed my eyes and clutched my pillow tightly as I felt his hot lips on my stomach. I took name of every god & goddess to make me safe from this horror, but I think my prayer went in vain!
He got up, loosened up my pyjamas, and took them off... I was down, with just my underwear on..!
Now he kissed my thighs, went down to my legs, kissed my feet, and came back to kiss my lips...
The way he was kissing showed me that he was ready to perform the main act!
Now was the time for the main act! He removed the last piece of cloth from my body, and I lost every bit of my soul I had within myself.
He wore the protection, and entered me with force! I didn't scream, groan, or cry, I just watched the wall and the ceiling of my room as my brother did his thing, SEX with me!!
All the night he did it, not stopping for even a minute...
And me? I was empty from inside by that act!!