I wrote this at 05.42 on April 14th 2016
When I woke up crying
I still think of you and your baby eyes
And how you contain shooting stars
Maybe if the world turns counter-clockwise
I can still call you mine
What if I missed, only by a mili-second
The string of possibility
Of being yours forever
And maybe it was my fault
I walked with the wrong foot ahead
Or gaze upon an abbys too long
That I veered off course
That I woke up one day and realize
I must have done something horribly wrong
To have lost the love of my life
The last time I saw you was a sadness beyond measure
I thought I was looking at a starless sky
Or the bottom of the ocean
A silent stare piercing through me
But a starless sky contains millions of galaxies
And the bottom of the ocean held secrets I'll never know
As you made up your mind
You didn't say it
But I always knew
I was never worth fighting for
I have always believed in your soul
But i never did believe in your love
It was never your fault
It was me
Me, me, me
I always believe I don't deserve to be loved
The way my father never loved my mother
I push people away
Until they finally leave
And a part of me was glad
Because they no longer have to deal
With the burning shipwreck that I am
And that may be the only favor
I ever did to you


#love #loss

by fluidity


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