I don’t care. I like my scores settled.
I don’t consider myself a 10 on the riotousness scale, and I if I look back, I’m sure I must have unfairly wronged a whole bunch of people. Most of them were totally unintentional, and I’ve rigorously sought pardon soon after. Because I hate the nag of a troubled conscience. It disrupts my sleep, my work and my general behaviour. It’s the Vetaal to my Vikram. It chips away at my well-being and makes me feel like belching.
But I have been on the receiving end of many treacheries, and they have all destroyed some parts of me. The ones that are resolved, I’ve have mended painstakingly, part by part over time. But today, I want to talk those events that haven’t found closure.
These are the big ones. The quarrels that never had any room for resolution, the staunch differences in opinion, the vehement attacks of a very personal nature, such scores. They’ve been so bad that an opportunity for a resolution never presented itself. So, they were healed by the greatest stand-in doctor of all time - Time.
So the next meeting, years after apocalypse, is always polite. This is a temporary fix and it allows a very good chance at rebuilding. But if truth be told, it’s best if the past is discussed and closure is found immediately. If ignored, you have my sympathies.
In my case, a score that is still very important to me still remains unsettled. And since I feel I was wronged, I’ve never brought it up. I want ‘them' to bring it up, ’them' to say “sorry”, and ‘them’ to ask me if I feel better.
And that day I’ll dutifully forgive them and move on.