C

Crying in the shower, again.
I hate this
I hate that this is my new norm.
This wound in my chest,
aching with every beat.
The way it feels knowing
you do not love me
Makes me wish
all the beating would stop.

“You shouldn't love me, I don't know why you do”
My darling, how can I not?
You are everything I've ever wanted, personified.
I want to show you my love
I want you to feel a love that doesn't go away
Love that doesn't hurt
Love that would never end...
But...
I'm so busy with your happiness that I barely notice
My own heart stays broken.
I survive off the breadcrumbs of attention you dole out when you feel me slipping away.
You entice me back,
but not too close
To me, you are my heart. What am I to you?
I am the acceptable placeholder until you find her.
I am your safe place,
the 'too in love with you to see
anyone else’ security you have.
I can't make you love me, I see that now.
Will that push me away from you? Probably not.

Just Words

Crying in the shower,…

by Jenmonte77

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